There are a number of ways to assist and support a person who tells you that they have been sexually assaulted.

If the assault is recent (such as in the last few days) it is important to make sure that the person is safe from further assaults and immediate danger. Encourage the person to go somewhere safe such as a police station, hospital or to a friend's house.

BELIEVE THEM
Trying to get details and facts is not necessary. What the person needs to hear is that you believe them, that you are willing to listen to them and that you are willing to assist them as much as possible.

SUPPORT THEM
Let the person know that you are willing to listen and to support them in whatever decisions they make. Let the person know that you care and that you are there for them. A person who has been sexually assaulted often feels a mixture of emotions including powerlessness and indecisiveness. It is important that supporters do not push someone who has been sexually assaulted to do what they think is best or necessary. Instead support and encourage the person to make decisions for themselves. It is the person's choice if they speak to the police, if they attend hospital for a medical or forensic examination or if they speak to a counselor.

DON'T BLAME THEM
There are many myths surrounding sexual assault and why it occurs. Many of these myths place the blame on the victim and remove it from the offender. It may be difficult to believe and support a person who has been sexually assaulted, especially if you know the offender personally. It is important to remember that people rarely lie about sexual violence. It takes a lot of courage and trust for someone to disclose sexual violence to another person and it is important that you listen and respect them.

Often supporters feel a sense of guilt, self blame and even anger when someone close to them has been assaulted, it is common for supporters to think that if they had just done "so and so" then they could have prevented the assault from happening. This is not the case, neither you nor the victim are at fault.

INFORM YOURSELF
It is common for people to feel overwhelmed and unsure about how to support someone. Information about sexual assault, its impact and options available afterwards are widely available to both yourself and the victim from a number of sources. Contact your local sexual assault service or NSW Rape Crisis Centre for more information.

LOOK AFTER YOURSELF
It can be difficult and emotionally draining supporting a person who has been sexually assaulted. Often people who are close to a victim may find that they are feeling a range of emotions and a sense of helplessness. It is important that supporters also have a supporter, someone that you can talk to. You can access counselling and information from your local sexual assault service or from the NSW Rape Crisis Centre.

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