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Choosing a Counsellor

Sexual violence may have some lasting impacts on your life, your relationships, or your self-image. Many people who have experienced sexual violence find that counselling may be helpful. It's important to remember that counselling, even if it's free, is a process that's about you: your choices, your participation, your rights, skills and needs. A trained counsellor will be able to listen, assist you in living with the legacies of sexual violence, and to develop strategies to change in the ways you want. Going to counselling doesn't mean you're crazy - on the contrary, most people who go to counselling are just trying to cope with the difficult experiences, traumas or problems they have experienced in their lives.

Sexual Violence & Counselling
For many survivors, counselling offers a way to 'break the silence' and speak about sexual abuse. It can help break down the sense of isolation you may feel. Counselling means you can talk with someone who is trained to help you explore your experiences, thoughts and feelings.

In counselling, you do not have to talk about the details of what happened if you don't want to, and it can help you to stand up to self-blame and to the myths about sexual assault. Counselling helps you to look at the impact the abuse has had-or is having-on your life. You and your counsellor can explore strategies that help you heal, become safe, and make your own choices about who you are and what kind of relationships you want to have.

What is counselling?
Counselling is a supportive process that happens between yourself and the counsellor, in which you can:

• Form a trusting and safe relationship in which to explore your experiences, thoughts, feelings, issues or problems;
• Feel listened to and validated, that your experiences, thoughts and feelings matter, and are real;
• Be empowered to take more control in your life;
• Identify your strengths, inner resources, and choices;
• Develop and move towards realistic personal goals;
• Heal emotionally, particularly if you have experienced sexual violence or other trauma;
• Gain valuable information and awareness about issues affecting your life;
• Develop strategies to enjoy life, have fulfilling relationships, and become resilient to problems that arise in everyday life.

How to find a counsellor
Finding a counsellor can seem like a tricky process, but there are lots of options for you to choose from. Some ways to get a referral to a counsellor include:

• You can call the NSW Rape Crisis Centre where you can be referred to free government and non-government agencies that provide counselling, or to a private therapist in your local area;
• You can ask your doctor;
• You can call your local Community Health or Women's Health Centre;
• You can call the Australian Psychological Society (APS) national referral service (call 1800 333 497).

Free Government and non-Government Counselling Services
These are agencies established with government and private funding to provide free or low-cost community services. Services that provide counselling for sexual violence issues include: sexual assault services (located near your local major hospital); Dympna House (for people who have experienced child sexual abuse); local Women's Health Centres and Community Health Centres. Many of these services provide a limited number of counselling sessions.

Private Therapists
Private therapists work from a private practice or privately run organisation, and they charge fees for the services they provide. If you are having trouble accessing a free service, or you need more counselling, a private therapist can usually provide longer term counselling. They are often trained as social workers, psychotherapists, psychologists or psychiatrists. Fees may be negotiable, or claimed on health care rebates.

What is Crisis Counselling?
Crisis counselling is usually free, like the NSW Rape Crisis Centre, which operates a 24-hour telephone crisis counselling service throughout NSW, 365 days a year. Services like this will try to assess the nature of the crisis, and work with the person to develop crisis containment strategies (to prevent the crisis from getting worse). Usually in crisis counselling you and the counsellor will also develop strategies to prevent further crises, or to get some more consistent support. This may involve referral to a range of other support services, like accommodation, financial, counselling, mental health, community or other services.

Some questions to consider
It can feel really uncomfortable to ask lots of questions of the counsellor you have just met, by telephone or in person, but it's really important to find out what kind of service they can provide you with, what they expect of you, and what guides and rules determine the way they work. It also puts you in control of your choices. Most counsellors welcome questions about their approach, and are used to having these discussions before the counselling begins. Here are some questions that are commonly asked:

• What are your qualifications, training and experience?
• Do you belong to a professional association?
• What counselling approaches do you use? What does that mean?
• How much will each session cost? What happens if I need to cancel a session?
• Do you make notes, and what happens to these when my counselling is finished?

Your rights in counselling
Whether you see a free counsellor, a crisis counsellor, a private therapist or psychiatrist, there are both rights and responsibilities that apply to you:

• The right to be treated with respect and dignity;
• The right to discuss, negotiate and disagree with the ideas and concepts raised;
• The right to feel safe;
• The responsibility to fulfill any agreements you make, such as paying for counselling;
• The right to have your information kept confidential, except where there is a risk of harm to yourself or someone else.

What kinds of counsellors are there to choose from?
Counsellor: is a professional social / community worker, who is trained to help you explore your experiences, thoughts and feelings, and uses counselling strategies to enable you to heal and grow in a safe and caring environment. She/he may be a member of various counsellors' associations, such as the Counsellors and Psychotherapists Association of NSW (CAPA), that guide their professional ethics and standards of practice.
Psychologist: has university qualifications in Psychology, and must be registered with the NSW Psychologists Board. Psychologists generally draw on a wide range of counselling strategies and techniques, and are guided by a strict code of professional ethics and standards.
Psychiatrist: is a medical doctor with extra training in psychiatry (the diagnosis and treatment of mental illness), who may use a variety of strategies, including medication, in treatment.

Groups
Different people respond to different kinds of support. It is important to discover what forms of support are useful for you. Some people have found that being part of a group helps them to realise that they are not alone in their experiences of sexual violence, and that they are not alone in their healing. Many Sexual Assault, Women's Health and Community Health Centres run groups for people who have experienced sexual violence.