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I am an older woman

It can be hard enough for anyone to talk about sexual assault, and to get in touch with the services and the support they need. For some groups and communities, it's even harder.

You may have thought this could never happen to you. The fact is, any woman-old or young, rich or poor, living alone or with others-can be raped.

Most rapes are planned. Anger and the desire for power, not sexual gratification, are the motives for sexual assault. Sexual assault is never the responsibility of the victim.

Common anxieties
There are a number of things you may be particularly anxious about. They might include:

• self-image 'I've always tried to be a good person. I've lived through many things, but I don't know if I can handle this.'
• safety 'How can I protect myself? I've always been so careful. I never thought this could happen to me.'
• independence 'I just don't want to make the effort to go out. I want someone else to tell me what to do.'
• the medical examination 'I haven't had a pelvic examination in years. I feel so ashamed.'
• physical injuries 'It is taking so long to heal. I feel bruised and sore all over and I'm worried about my health.'
• oral rape 'I feel so disgusted, I'm just sick when I think about it.'
• anal rape 'Not only do I hurt, but the thought of what happened makes me feel filthy.'
• talking about it 'I don't know if I should tell my children. I feel embarrassed and I don't want to upset them.'

Talking about your feelings with a sexual assault counsellor who is sensitive to your concerns can help you deal with what has happened.

Remember - you did not provoke or cause the assault.
It is not your fault.

Getting help
You may have specific problems following an assault. It may take you longer to recover from physical injuries, or the rape experience itself. Many women who have been raped want to move house, but if you are on a fixed income, this may be a problem.

You may feel very isolated, especially if you don't have close family or friends nearby, or you don't want to talk to them about it. A counsellor at the NSW Rape Crisis Centre or at a sexual assault service can help you with practical concerns as well as how you are feeling.