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The Myths and Realities of Sexual Violence

The myths about sexual assault are passed on from generation to generation, by men and women, judges and lawyers, police, politicians and many others. When these myths are finally challenged, women's own experiences begin to tell us about the realities of rape.

The myths:

Myth: It could never happen to me.
Fact: Any woman can be raped, regardless of age, race, class, religion, occupation, education, physical ability, or physical 'attractiveness'.

Myth: Rape is primarily a sexual crime.
Fact: Rape is a violent assault that is acted out, in part, sexually. Through psychological, verbal
and physical abuse, rape violates a woman's personal integrity and her sense of safety and control
over her life.

Myth: Rape is committed in dark alleys by strangers.
Fact: Most rapes occur at home. More often than not the offender is a relative, friend, neighbour or acquaintance.

Myth: A rapist is easy to spot in a crowd.
Fact: Most rapists look perfectly normal. They can be any age, race, colour, occupation or socioeconomic class.

Who does it happen to?
Most victims of sexual assault are female. In 1999, 81% of people reporting sexual assault in Australia were female, while 17% were male. (The sex of the victim was not recorded for 2.4% of sexual assaults.) Almost half (48%) of all victims were females under 20, while just over half (53%) of all male victims were under 15 (Australian Bureau of Statistics Recorded Crime 4510, 1999).

Myth: Rape is a 'spur of the moment' act.
Fact: Most rapists plan carefully in advance, and set up situations so the rape can take place. A rapist is capable of raping again and again.

Myth: Rape happens when men lose their self-control.
Fact: Men who rape know very well what they are doing. Rape is an act of control.

Myth: Men rape because they are sexually frustrated-if prostitution were more available they wouldn't do it.
Fact: Rape has nothing to do with sexual frustration, and the availability of prostitutes is irrelevant. This is just another way of saying 'men can't help themselves', and that it's up to women to find the solution. No sexual urge gives a man the right to rape a woman.

Myth: If a woman's had sex with the man once, it can hardly be called rape if it happens again.
Fact: It doesn't matter if the man is the woman's husband, partner or boyfriend, or whether she's had sex with him in the past or not. If she is forced or pressured to have sex this time, it's rape.

Myth: Women secretly want to be raped.
Fact: Women don't want to experience violent, terrorising, brutal and humiliating assaults any more than men do.

Where does it happen?
In 1999, private dwellings were the favoured location for sexual assaults (53%), followed by streets or footpaths (8.2%) and 'recreational locations' (5.2%). Sixty per cent were perpetrated by someone the victim knew (Australian Bureau of Statistics Recorded Crime 4510, 1999). Thirty per cent of the women who sought help from NSW Sexual Assault Services for the four financial years 1994/95-1997/98 were assaulted in their own homes (Initial Presentations to NSW Sexual Assault Services, 1994/95 - 1997/98).

Myth: Women 'ask for it' by the way they dress or behave.
Fact: This is like saying that someone wants to be robbed because they have money in their wallet. Rapists look for targets they think they can hit, not women who dress or behave in a particular way. Nobody asks to be hurt or degraded.

Myth: Only young women are raped.
Fact: Females aged from four months to 92 years have been reported raped. Rape is an act of violence that can happen at any time in a person's life.

Myth: It is not really possible to rape a non-consenting adult.
Fact: It is indeed possible to rape a non-consenting adult. The threat of death or violence, or physical brutality, can immobilise anyone. And there are lots of other ways in which people are forced into having sex.

Myth: A woman can't be raped by her husband.
Fact: Rape in marriage is common. It's also a crime. When a woman is forced to have sex through emotional or financial blackmail, it's rape, whoever does it. It's also rape if a woman is forced into oral and anal sex by her partner.

Myth: Most rapes involve people of different races.
Fact: Most rapes involve people of the same cultural background. However, some men do rape out of racial hatred as well as a hatred of women. In an Anglo-dominated culture such as ours, indigenous women and women from non-Anglo backgrounds may be targeted because of their colour or cultural difference.

Myth: Rape only happens in the city.
Fact: Rape can happen anywhere. Women in rural areas are just as likely to be raped as women in cities.

Myth: Women lie about rape to get compensation.
Fact: Some lawyers will try anything to protect their clients and discredit a woman who reports a rape. It can take a lot of courage and determination to proceed with a rape case.

Myth: Rape doesn't happen to men.
Fact: Women are the main victims. But this doesn't mean it can't happen to men. Males, both children and adults, are also victims of sexual assault. A study of men in NSW prisons found that a quarter of those between 18 and 25 have been sexually assaulted in jail. Younger, smaller and gay prisoners are at greater risk; the rapists are almost always other male prisoners (Heilpbern, D., Fear or Favour: sexual assault of young prisoners, 1998).

Who believes the myths?
Myths about sexual violence have been around for a long time. Women and men in all parts of society, from family members to a judge in a rape trial, may believe them.

The trouble with myths
The trouble with the myths is that they:

Rapists benefit from these beliefs.